I had a huge wake-up call over the weekend and it is STILL bothering me. I had the opportunity to meet up with a new friend over the weekend, but because my mind was on some weird schedule, I ended up bailing on them all kinds of early instead of hanging out and enjoying the moment.
Now, I know what all my friends would say: There goes Aisha – thinking too much. And I would politely reply: Shut up! 🙂
But it really bothered me – was my schedule or money for parking so important that I couldn’t take the time to sit a little longer and enjoy a little more of my new friends? These people were cool as hell! (and BTW, I really hope they want to hang again after this).
The overall question I’d like to ask is “What matters most”?
For me, the past couple of years have been spiritually and emotionally awakening. What I used to believe in no longer works for me. Words have changed meaning. Things are less solid. People are more transparent. What used to be held as a high standard is nothing but, well…nothing. I think you get the point.
Basically, what matters most to me is lining up and starting to make sense now. Spending time with good friends is what matters most. Living my creativity matters most. Connecting matters most. It’s the most amazing process I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I’ll share a story here: At one point in a past relationship, I had an “ah-ha” moment, realizing that no matter how much I put my S.O. first, it was very likely that I would never get the same treatment in return. You have to know that when I have “ah-ha” moments, I call my mom (which, trust me, is a whole other blog post). After I filled her in, she asked me this and I’ll never forget it: “Aisha, now that you know this information, what are you going to do with it?”
Powerful, right? But I ask myself the same thing here: Now that I know what matters most, what am I going to do with it?
I have to practice it of course. Try to be in the moments at hand rather than worry about the next. It’ll happen.
I believe it.
What matters most to you? What helps you practice it?