All I can think of right now is the ending of stories. Or the middle. I’m not sure which. I imagined one girl on stage (of course, me). I was getting to the climax of a very intense monologue…the part where I get up from a lone chair on stage and cry out about the difference between the future I imagined and the future that’s actually arrived. A character, unseen, stands off-stage waiting to tell me that what’s arrived is in fact, good. I won’t let her speak though. She lets me have my dramatic moment and, for a time, the spotlight.
The other ending is where I imagine a woman (again, me, but skinnier) standing at the end of a small pier at night. The only light is from a buzzing lamppost. Moths and other night insects dance around it. The damp from a recent storm still hangs in the air. Me, in a dark blue velour – yes, my imagination includes velour… shoot me – jogging suit with the hood covering my face from view. HE walks over, hovers…hesistant. I move away, shaking my head in…disgust? Hmm, no. Sadness. Yes, a deep sadness. I’ve been let down very harshly. Misunderstood my presence in HIS life. Thought all was right and good in the world because HE and I were WE. The only way I can find peace is by staring into the water that I can’t see, but know is there. The water that will take me away from HIM and our life on the island once the morning comes.
Water laps against the pier. There is nothing to say.
And these are the thoughts that have been going through my head. I have a weird imagination. I don’t know where any of this is going, but I had to get it out of my head.